the rating system

The Dilletante Douchebag rating system is zero to five Homunculi (Homunculus is the little man inside my head viewing the movie of  my irises) and is designed for amateur, hobbyist, semi-pro, or student film makers.

It’s not really a fair contest to review an indie film made by say, George Clooney alongside true, bargain-basement indie films. There are vastly greater resources available to established industry professionals, and a great difference in experience levels. And honestly, there are plenty of douchebags lined up to review those films already.

I’m running a private club here, so Clooney can suck it.

It’s also worth pointing out that if you’re a student or first timer, you’re going to get a little additional slack. If you’ve made a few films already, you’re going to get both barrels.


 is a perfect indie film. A film that scores a five has transcended all barriers, handicaps, preconceptions, and sang directly to my soul.

 is a great film. Yes I can still tell it’s an indie, but who cares? It’s good.

 is a competent indie film, I’m giving you slack because it’s indie, but it’s pretty good.

 means you need some work. There were some good moments in there and a couple good performances, but it’s inconsistent. You need to up your game.

 represents a real stinker. Why did you bother? The dialog is horrid, the story is utterly unengaging, and your actors would get booed off a grade school talent show. You name it, you have a problem with it.

 The house of shame. Is this a joke? I have no idea what this is supposed to be. This film is so abysmally bad I can’t even do an ad hoc Mystery Science Theater 3000 to it.



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