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recent douchebaggery

February 25, 2013

Jesus Christ!

I was dragged to some community theater recently, and there’s only one way I can process that kind of trauma: I have to write about it. I’m compelled to impart my harrowing experience to you, so you can share the burden of my pain.  So here you go—my review of Burien Little Theater’s Jesus Christ [...]

September 9, 2012

Seattle Film Summit

So I’m involved in this thing, the Seattle Film Summit. It’s a conference designed to help indies become better filmmakers, and better business people. Now, let’s get something straight, I’m not about to turn in my douche card just because I’m doing something helpful. On the contrary, the Seattle Film Summit exists for the same [...]

Review–Divergence

Divergence (2012) Genre: Scifi Webseries Director: Douglas Horn Written by: Douglas Horn, Dan Southworth Stars: Dan Southworth, Marta McGonagle, Courtney Munch   Here’s a twist: an indie webseries that is not a vanity project. Wait, am I taking crazy pills? Of course it’s totally a vanity project. The twist is that that this project is skillfully produced, has a [...]

August 15, 2012

Review–Boxed In

Boxed In (2012) Genre: Student Short Length: 6 min. Written, directed, and edited by: Chris Herr Stars: Paul Blazevich A boy and a magical cardboard box go on an adventure. If you found a box that could transport you instantly anywhere in the world where would you go? Italy? A mountain top? Narnia? No! Don’t [...]

August 14, 2012

Why You Will Never Make It As A Screenwriter

Reprinted with permission from The Single Screenwriter.   You’re too young. You’re over the hill. You aren’t committed enough. The industry is in turmoil. You don’t write for the market. You sell out for marketability. Nobody is buying. You’re not a lesbian. You’re a woman. You’re a white male.   No one is interested in [...]

August 13, 2012

Want A Better Review? Make A Better Product.

You filmmakers are a pain in my dick. Yes, I am speaking directly to you. Some of you are lovely people, and some of you are my friends, but you are assholes. You’re delusional, infantile, and lack integrity. You’re making me mental. Do you think I like getting a tearful call at two in the [...]

August 11, 2012

Review–Transolar Galactica

Transolar Galactica (2011) Genre: Comedy Webseries Directed by: Adam Harum Written by: Clancy Bundy, Adam Harum, Isaac Joslin Stars: Isaac Joslin, Jade Warpenburg, Adam C. Boyd, Clancy Bundy Transolar Galactica is a trollish send up of every tried and true scifi cliché and topos. It is the unholy love child of the original Star Trek, J.J. Abrams’s Star Trek, and Galaxy Quest.  If [...]

August 5, 2012

Hobbyist Is Not a Four Letter Word.

hob·by  [hob-ee] noun, plural hob·bies. 1. an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving. (And independent film making.)   (adapted from Dictionary.com)   I am a hobbyist, and chances are, if you are reading my blog, you are too. I have a lot of hobbies. This blog is a hobby, my band was a hobby, and any work I’ve done in the indie film world [...]

July 30, 2012

Innovation Labs–An Opportunity For Indie Filmmakers

I don’t normally shill for stuff; I am a douchebag, after all. But as much as I lampoon the independent film culture in all its glorious, infantile ridiculousness, I actually believe very strongly in the value of film as an art form, a cultural flagpole, and a business enterprise that can benefit workers in our [...]

July 27, 2012

Review–Tilting At Windmills

Tilting At Windmills (2011) Length: 10 min Genre: Comedy Director: Timothy Watkins Writers: Charles Forsgren,Timothy Watkins Stars: Mark Jacob Carr, Shawn Telford, Ernie Joseph, Tessa Marie Archer   A homeless Don Quixote embarks on a mentally  ill-advised pursuit of honor and justice. This Don is played by a homeless Wayne Coyne, the guy from the Flaming Lips. Not really. It’s Mark [...]

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